My journey........ ;-)

So wedding is now only 2 days away, things are getting very hectic… we spent 2 hours last night making party favour bags, I have to pick up my suit tonight, the Dress is being spot cleaned by the dry cleaners (it is the dress that my wife married me in, the Seating plan is finalized… except for those two people we forgot, oh and the 15 –25 people who got verbally invited by the bride and groom who said they would come, but we do not have names or even a clue if they will turn up. But yesterday posed an interesting dilemma for me…. We needed music for the vocal solo during the ceremony, so I need to find an instrumental, or accompaniment version of "the lords prayer" now I was not instructed to find this item, but I could tell by the way it was mentioned in an off hand way that I had better get this now or we are going to forget it and I would be running all over the place on the morning of the wedding.
So I decided to be nice and pick it up while I ran other errands. So I’m in WALMART, Hmmmm… classical music? Not there, Oh crap… christian music section…. So I leaf through like a million christian compellation albums, 25 greatest hymns (!), Gospel hits (!!), Bluegrass christian faves (!!!) ok no luck, on to FYE (record store) they have a wedding section… but no joy, so I am left with one option, the christian family values superstore… the mother of all christian bookstores, the kind of store I cross the road to avoid! I don’t know what it is about christian book stores that give me the creeps, but honestly they actually make my skin crawl at 50 feet, let alone entering one. So I think, you’re a dad, this is what will make your daughter happy, you can do it! So I held my breath and entered…. I felt like I was in a porn shop that kind of dirty feeling, it felt like every one was watching me… I imagined "look an atheist" being whispered behind hands, I was expecting to be confronted by a bishop with his holy water sprinkler as I turned the corner. So anyway, once my paranoia subsided a little I began to search the instrumental section…. Jesus Christ how many fucking religious songs are there?….. wait... did I say that out loud? Quick glance up and down the isles, phew no clamoring clerics… good, hopefully no one heard me, no luck though with "the lords prayer"… It that even a song? I thought it was that stupid "our father, which art in heaven…." thing we had to say in school…. Anyway I digress…. While checking for mace wielding priests I notice "accompaniment music" Oh ok maybe over there…. So I start going through that rack, "this holy that", "that holy this"… damn no "the lords prayer", hmmm… "the prayer" I wonder… nope… crap… wonder if they miss filed it…. L… L… Ah, L.. "love god this", "Love god that" really guys you need to get a bit more original with your song titles… "the lords prayer"… Eureka! Typical, the only "The…" song not filed under T looks like evolution is not the only thing they don’t teach in those schools… ok, lets buy this thing…. $9.99 holy crap it only has one song…. It looks home made too… oh well, lets just pay for this and get out of this place, so I approach the counter, past the t-shirt with un-amusing slogans stand, past the unusually large and imposing Breath mint stand (whats up with that?) and up to the counter, no I don’t want a crucifix key ring, or a pocket companion bible, or a breath mint….. just give me the damn CD and let me out of this place before I catch something…
Shop attendant: Hello sir.
RF: Hi
Shop attendant: can I interest you in our frequent shoppers club?
…… OK, what do I say to that? Hell no was the immediate response that came to mind…..
RF: [smiling sweetly] not in a million years…..
And finally I escape to freedom, fresh air and off home to shower off the smell off…..
All in all quite an unsettling experience, hopefully there will not be a need for me to ever repeat it! My wife understands that this thing that I did was unexpected but I don't think she really apreciates exactly what I had to get through it, maybe she will now if she reads this!